Marlene, the Upcoming Exam, and the Annoying Idiot
by Angelo Della Magnolia
Summary: How they ended up sitting on the floor beside each other, surrounded by a pile of books and various different types of roots and flowers as they tried, and failed, to study for their N.E.W.T.s, she would never know. Written for Round 2 of Season 4 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition as Chaser 3.
_**Disclaimer: I do not own any aspects of Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form. Do you think Sirius Black would have died if I did?!**_

 _ **Written for Round 2 of The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition as Chaser 3 of the Chudley Cannons.**_

 _ **CHASER 3:**_ _Write about someone preparing for or taking an exam in the subject. (Potions)_

 _ **Prompts:**_

 _2\. (dialogue) "This was the most fun I've ever had."_

 _7\. (word) light_

 _13\. (word) articulate_

 _ **The rest of the Challenges and Competitions are written at the bottom.**_

 _ **Word Count: 2038**_

* * *

"This is the worst idea you've ever thought of!" Lily threw her hands up in exasperation and her green eyes narrowed as she shot a death glare in the direction of her boyfriend, who, unfortunately, was a complete and total idiot by the name of James Potter. He was a skilled, mildly intelligent, Quidditch playing idiot, though, so the pros outweighed the cons, in a way.

"It's too late now, Lily," Remus mumbled from his position outside the door. He and Peter, who was also standing outside of the door eating a chocolate frog, exchanged quick glances before turning back towards Lily and James, who stood just a few feet inside the empty Potions classroom.

"Besides!" James slung an arm around Lily's slim shoulders. "You say that about everything I've ever thought of. It'll work out great, just you wait and see!"

"And you say that every time too!" Lily smacked away James' hand, which had started playing with stray strands of her fiery red hair.

"Because it's true!"

"Oh, yes, spending every moment of your free time in detention with various teachers as you lose points for our house is the _perfect_ definition of it ' _working out great'_."

"Uh, guys?" Peter's facial features scrunched up with terror at something the rest of his friends couldn't see.

James didn't seem to hear his friend as he continued to argue with Lily. "We have the classroom to ourselves! Everyone else is at Hogsmeade and all the professors are having a meetin. We'll be fine!"

"Detention is not what I would deem ' _fine_ '!"

Remus coughed pointedly. "James, Lily."

The two froze mid-argument, turning to stare at their amber-eyed friend expectantly. James, because his best mates only ever called him that when there were serious matters at hand. Lily, because she had learned from experience that when Remus spoke up important matters were at hand. "What?" they asked in unison.

Remus raised an eyebrow, staring at his best mate and then at his fellow Prefect. When the two did nothing but stare back, Remus sighed and raised a hand to rub his temple.

"Sirius is—"

"Sirius is what? Serious? Or Sirius?"

James seemed to lighten up the moment his best mate appeared, coming over to slap the wizard on the back. "Padfoot!"

"Prongs!"

Sirius spun around and landed a light punch on Peter's shoulder, then pulled Remus towards him. "Wormtail! Moony!"

"Ugh. What is this, stupid nickname day?" Lily asked. "Idiots."

"Agreed."

Lily jumped, red hair flying wildly as her hand reached towards her wand involuntarily. She narrowed her eyes as she searched for the owner of the voice.

"Marlene?"

A chuckle greeted her. "Indeed, it is."

"What are you doing here?"

"I could say the same for you."

"That idiot over there roped me into his stupid plan."  
"Who? James?"

"Of course. He's the biggest idiot in the room, isn't he?"

Marlene raised an eyebrow and coughed pointedly.

Lily laughed. "Okay, you're right. Sirius is a pretty big idiot"

While Lily and Marlene had been talking, James had made his way outside of the room to join Remus and Peter. Sirius was left in the room on his own, and he was merrily describing how he's managed to glue Lucius Malfoy's precious blond locks to the Slytherin dining table.

"Yes, he is," Marlene said with a sigh and a bored glance towards him.

"Lily!" James' arm was in the air and flailing it around in what Lily assumed to be a wave. "Oh, gorgeous love of my life!" James added as an afterthought, grinning widely when she glared at him.

Lily walked over to where James was standing, slapped him upside the head, and then proceeded to cross her arms and tap her foot impatiently.

James leaned over, his mouth mere inches from her ear. Lily expected some sort of stupid line about love or how beautiful she looked. Instead, she got James whispering, "Let's make an excuse to leave so that Sirius and Marlene get some . . . _alone time."_

* * *

"Figgy pudding! It's a trap!"

"' _Trick'_. I believe the word you're looking for is ' _trick'_."

"Merlin's pants! I know what I'm saying, you don't need to correct me!"

"If you know what you were saying, then surely you know you've used the wrong word."

"That's very lengthy and articulate for _you_ , Black _._ I'm surprised you still know how to speak in coherent sentences, seeing as how a majority of your days are spent frolicking with mindless excuses for witches."

"Jealous?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I—"

Marlene blinked. _How in Merlin's name was she suppose to reply to that?!_ She could feel her cheeks involuntarily warming, and she cursed whatever was out there for making blushing a human ability.

When Marlene realized that Sirius was actually awaiting a reply, she groaned and threw her hands up in exasperation. Ignoring him, she went over to the cupboards to collect an armful of various ingredients and equipment.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Like you're planning my death."

"Close enough."

* * *

How they ended up sitting on the floor beside each other, surrounded by a pile of books and various different types of roots and flowers as they tried, and failed, to study for their N.E.W.T.s, she would never know.

She didn't hate the troublemaker, but it wasn't like they've ever actually spoken to each other. The only times they had spoken before were when they were forced to due to being James and Lily's best friends. Conversations during those times usually ended in hexes, jinxes, and increasingly foul language being fired at each other.

Therefore, by the time they had reached their seventh-year and James and Lily had finally become a thing, Sirius and Marlene had grown into the habit of bickering on site.

Because of this, Sirius and Marlene sitting in close proximity to each other, without trying in any way to murder each other, was unheard of. It was the equivalent of Lucius Malfoy proudly declaring himself a humble Hufflepuff.

"Alright, how about Amortentia? Professor Slughorn said that was part of the final."

"I know how to make it."

"Fine, then. Tell me."

"I throw the ingredients into a cauldron, and then I make the potion."

" _Specifics_ , Sirius."

A half-hearted shrug was the only reply she got.

Marlene sighed and closed the potions booklet she had in her lap. "Look, I know you're good at potions; I'm in your class. However, the exam won't just be 'throwing ingredients into a cauldron'. There's a written portion too."

"So?"

"What do you mean ' _so_ '?"

"Exactly that, _so_?"

"Alright, you know what? Let's just start over."

Marlene tossed the booklet in her lap onto the floor and shifted over to grab her notes. She flipped through a few pages before stopping and nodding to herself quietly.

"These are a few questions Lily and I made up to study for the exam."

Sirius, having spent the time Marlene had been searching through her notes lying limply on the floor and groaning dramatically about his so called "lack of anything fun to do", seemingly wilted at the prospect of doing something even worst than moan about boredom: doing something that would induce more boredom.

"Come on, it'll be easy. Okay, what is one of the main ingredients used in Draught of Living Death?"

"I don't bother remembering what ingredients are used in which potions. I just follow the instructions and it turns out perfect," Sirius answered as he rested his head on one hand. A sly smile created onto his features as Sirius added, "like me."

 _Stupid, bloody, arrogant arse._

Marlene refused to acknowledge Sirius as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door with the strength of a Norwegian Ridgeback.

* * *

Quill in hand, Sirius stared at the notes Marlene had thrown on the ground on her way out.

Despite the fact that there were over twenty pages of information, Sirius found it easy to read through. There were sections on cauldrons, scales, specific ingredients, and even three whole pages on the properties of Amortentia. Everything was organised into neat columns and rows. Even Marlene's handwriting screamed 'organised'. It was impeccable, even though there were several ink splotches on the pages making it clear the quill had been broken and replaced several times.

After a quick flick through, Sirius found the sheet of questions Marlene had mentioned earlier.

 _What is one of the main ingredients used in Draught of Living Death?_

 _ **Asphodel.**_

 _Describe the properties of Asphodel_.

 _ **Slim stalk. Small leaves. Related to the lily. Light in colour.**_

It was easy when he actually bothered to try.

 _How many times does one stir Draught of Living Death?_

 _ **Twice the first time, seven the second time.**_

 _What are the properties of Draught of Living Death?_

 _ **Causes the drinker to fall into a trance-like sleep.**_

Footsteps could be heard echoing down the dimly lit corridors of the Potions classroom. Sirius looked up and grinned deviously when a brilliant plan began to form inside his head.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name?!"

Sure, Marlene didn't expect Sirius to be in the _exact_ same position she had left him, and she certainly didn't expect everything to look _exactly_ as it had when she'd left, but she had _hoped_ that things wouldn't have changed drastically when she returned.

Then again, this was Sirius Black.

The stools had been overturned and there were pieces of parchment strewn everywhere. Most of it was torn and ripped, with what looked like slobber completely soaking most of them and making the ink illegible. A few stray pieces of parchment were still gently floating to the floor.

Standing in the middle of all the chaos, with its tail wagging at the speed of an angry Lily Evans chasing after a hysterically laughing James Potter, was a giant, shaggy, black dog that looked like it desperately needed a comb or a bath, preferably both.

"How—" Marlene started but then stopped when she realized that her only company in the room was the giant black dog that was looking at her as if it expected her to start stroking it or give it a treat for destroying her preciously valuable notes.

 _Wait_. _How could a dog, especially one that big, have managed to get into Hogwarts, and into the Potions classroom, no less? It's impossible. Physically impossible. Unless . . ._

" _Sirius Orion Black!_ That better not be you _s_ itting there as if nothing's wrong!"

The dog barked once, his tail flying even quicker as he gave her a playful smile that practically proved her point.

"You—You—How dare you! How dare you, Black, how dare you! I need those note to study. How am I ever going to pass this exam now? You bloody git!"

The dog, still looking gleeful, despite the fact that she was screaming into his highly sensitive ears, padded over to a piece of parchment lying on the table. He sniffed the sheet, took it in his jaw, and padded back towards Marlene. His tail wagging happily the whole time.

Marlene narrowed her eyes and snatched the sheet.

"Asphodel, slim stalk, small leaves—" Marlene paused, looking downwards to stare at the dog, whom she was definitely sure was Sirius. "You filled out the answers . . . "

The dog seemingly grinned and barked once more.

"Ugh. I'm not sure which version of you I hate more."

* * *

When James, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders came back into the Potions classroom to check on their friends, they found Sirius on one of the tables shouting into a cauldron that was on his head and then laughing when his word echoed.

"What are you doing, mate?" James asked as he took in the scene in front of him.

"Marlene's been helping me with my potions," Sirius told him, although the cauldron being on his head made it hard for James to understand what he was saying.

"She's been what?"

"Helping me with Potions, and I'll tell you one thing, mate. This was the most fun I've ever had."

James shook his head. He didn't think he'd ever understand Sirius. Looking around the room to find Lily, he saw her in a far corner. She was crouched next to Marlene who was clutching her notes in defeat.

* * *

 _ **Cards Against Humanity Competition:**_

 _Prompt: "Figgy pudding! It's a trap!"_

 _ **Famous Witches and Wizards Card Challenge.**_


End file.
